{"id":9234,"date":"2026-04-27T15:49:29","date_gmt":"2026-04-27T15:49:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.openvaluefoundation.org\/?p=9234"},"modified":"2026-04-27T15:49:30","modified_gmt":"2026-04-27T15:49:30","slug":"blog-post-40","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/2026\/04\/27\/blog-post-40\/","title":{"rendered":"Blog post 40"},"content":{"rendered":"

I will always remember the first time I stepped into the Mother House chapel on AJC Bose Road in Kolkata. After the 6 am Mass, all the volunteers would gather in the central courtyard of the Missionaries of Charity convent to have a banana and chai (Indian tea), check the mail, get to know each other... And before each person set off for their destination (Prem Dan, Kalighat, Shishu Bhavan, etc.), we would pass a sign that read something like: \u201cWhen you give your love to the sick, to the dying, always remember that they are doing more for you than you are for them.\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The quote is not entirely literal, as 25 years have passed since then, although that was the intention. And, I must admit, the first time I read it, it seemed like \u201cnonsense\u201d from my \u201ctop-down\u201d perspective. But the Saint of Calcutta, the great professor, doctor, and honorary fellow of unconditional love, was not mistaken. A path opened up for me, into which I have undoubtedly received far more than I have been able to give: many credits of faith, family, friendship, health, life, joy... And how is this explained?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neurologists and psychologists talk about Cortisol, which, although its name might make us think of a small supermarket or a cleaning product, is actually something much more harmful, and incidentally, occasionally necessary. And to add a bit of balance, they also talk about Oxytocin. The stress hormone and the happiness hormone, respectively. But what does all this have to do with \u201cgiving\u201d and \u201creceiving\u201d? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's consider for a moment the life of \u201cLucy\u201d, the first hominid who must have lived about 3 million years ago in what we now know as Ethiopia... Would she be happy? She certainly wouldn't be worried about Trump's tariffs, Brexit, or the Euribor, nor would she receive calls from Jazztel at ungodly hours, but... what is that cave bear doing in her little nest of love! And after fleeing the cave in terror... here come the mammoths, fleeing the seismic movement caused by the Rift Valley fault! Run again! The truth is, I don't think there were mammoths or cave bears in Ethiopia, but surely poor Lucy was bothered by the great-great-grandparents of today's lions and hyenas, other apes more bestial than these first hominids, or some male australopithecus who hadn't heard of \u201cno means no\u201d... Well, that's what cortisol is for! To keep us alert, awake, our muscles tense, ready for fight or flight, fundamental in Lucy's time, but... how many cave bears and mammoths have you encountered lately when you got home? Not many, to be honest...<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The so-called stress hormone (cortisol) is activated, and the body doesn't return to its normal level for many hours. Again, it makes sense, because our great-great-grandmother \u201cLucy\u201d had to remain alert if there were enemy clans around, but does it make sense for us to be alarmed by a call we thought was going to give us bad news, and once the panic has subsided, with no mammoths around, to still have sky-high cortisol levels?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Descartes, the French philosopher and mathematician who, four centuries ago, made the phrase \u201cI think, therefore I am\u201d famous, said shortly before his death: \u201cMy life was full of worries, many of which never came to pass.\u201d They say that 9 out of 10 worries never materialise. That\u2019s the 90% of the \u201chypothetical\u201d problems that upset us! And on every occasion \u2013 whether we actually faced the problem or not \u2013 we get a surge of cortisol that lasts all day. And with this stress hormone coursing through our veins, we can\u2019t rest, our digestion suffers, we can\u2019t think clearly, we don\u2019t smile, we aren\u2019t cheerful, we aren\u2019t happy\u2026 There are studies linking cortisol to the onset of serious illnesses, including cancer and leukaemia. But, as I said before, that cortisol which does us so much harm wasn\u2019t actually necessary 90% of the time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Chinese proverb says: \u201cIf a problem has a solution, why do you worry? And if it doesn't, why do you worry?\u201d A little further East, in Japan, they hold the world record for longevity. The people of the Land of the Rising Sun probably know and have put into practice the wise proverb of their neighbours! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Returning to Lucy\u2026 was she really running from mammoths all day? She ate insects, her life expectancy was only a couple of decades or three, she didn't have a washing machine, she never let loose to dance to \u201cI'm So Excited\u201d by the Pointer Sisters, nor did she ever take a dip in the sea, nor did she try a nice, cold, well-poured beer, with its little head of foam\u2026 She didn't even see Iniesta's goal in South Africa! But she surely wasn't that unhappy! When people asked me after returning from Africa why the children looked so happy, I always told them they live in the present. Today it's raining, today I've eaten, today I feel good\u2026 Psychologists say that remembering the past leads to depression, and thinking about the future creates anxiety. It is in the present, in the famous \u201cmindfulness\u201d, where we will find happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, Lucy's great-great-grandchildren have inherited the bad and lost the good. There we are all day with our cortisol, worried, and on top of that, we're mulling over the past and the future... Because Lucy worries about what's really happening to her now, about the mammoths, but her great-great-grandchildren will never find a decent job, or a flat to move into, or a stable partner... And once we've found all that and are finally happy after tying the knot, and dancing the first dance, it turns out we won't get pregnant, and when the time comes, it probably won't go to term, or they'll have some rare syndrome, or once they're born, they'll eat little, won't learn English, won't pass their A-levels, and won't get a good place in the MIR exam, and of course then we'll go back to our son's flat, his job and the dreaded redundancy, his partner, our son's children, etc. What a hell! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That's what the Good News is all about\u2026 freeing us from that hell, helping us find a new balance after that original sin, that bite of the apple which was the sedentary lifestyle and civilisation of Lucy. And the formula was already given to us by the Gospels when Jesus was asked how to obtain Eternal Life: \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and your neighbour as yourself.\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c- \u201dBut I'm not into stories about priests and masses!\u201c - Fine, that's why I'm talking about Lucy, not Adam and Eve... If you want, change the word \u201dGod\u201c for its synonyms: \u201dYou will follow (love) Justice, Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Life, you will be consistent with your Values, your Principles... And also remember your neighbour and love them as yourself\u201c. And what is this business about neighbour? In that same Gospel, after giving us the formula for eternal life, Jesus defines neighbour through the parable of the Good Samaritan, the one who gives and dedicates himself... Compared to the one who \u201dhoards\u201c worries, \u201dpiles up\u201c cash, \u201doverflows\u201c with fears, \u201daccumulates\" attachments... the Good Samaritan is free, is consistent, and loves and understands the meaning of the good news, the path to Eternal Life!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For those of us who are attached to our earthly lives, the most difficult thing, what we find hardest to accept and understand, is probably death\u2026 And if there is a formula based on our neighbour that allows us to live on extended time, to attain Eternal Life\u2026 then we will have to study all this a little better to learn to flee from the stress hormone and foster the hormone of happiness and Life after life! But for those who don't want to believe too much in the idea of extended time, don't worry, there is still a very effective antidote against the harmful effects of cortisol\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The renowned psychiatrist Marian Rojas (daughter of the also renowned psychiatrist) has written a book (How to make good things happen to you<\/a><\/em>In which he talks about all this cortisol stuff (which I haven't made up) and also about another hormone that counteracts its effects, the happiness hormone: oxytocin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But... where have we left Lucy? For better or for worse, Lucy is no longer with us, just as we won't be with our great-great-grandchildren in another three million years. Because Lucy, like the dinosaurs, was done in by Darwin. Well, not him personally with a hunting rifle... but by his theory of the evolution of species. And in the evolutionary process, of course, those who protected themselves with cortisol survived. But evolution favours not only the strongest, but those who live better in a team, in a group... And here our friend, the good Samaritan, comes in again! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scientists say that we feel the same pleasure when we have a feast (which allows us to feed ourselves properly) or when we play at Romeo and Juliet (which allows us to reproduce) as when we help others or become generous philanthropists (which allows us to help the pack). All of this aids the evolution of our species, and for that reason, it provides us with a pleasant feeling! The oxytocin produced when \u201cgiving\u201d acts as an antidote to stress (against cortisol), putting a brake on depression and anxiety. For example, it's proven that volunteers for an NGO have a lower risk of falling into dementia or depression, but there are also studies that conclude that when helping other people, we secrete endorphins that decrease the perception of pain and cold. Furthermore, by using some of our time and money on others, we activate brain areas that make us feel happier. They say that helping others replaces several gym sessions and \u201cadds between four and seven years to your life.\u201d Not bad!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my favourite stories is The Star Thrower, which goes like this: Once upon a time, a person was picking up starfish from the sand that the waves had left on the shore. They would bend down, pick one up after another, and throw them back into the sea. Another person watching them approached and said, \u201cThere are so many stars, and you won't be able to save them all. Your effort is pointless.\u201d And the protagonist of our story bent down again, picked up another star, and threw it back into the sea with conviction, saying, \u201cIt made a difference to this one!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of these two individuals, who do we want to be like? Who of the two has felt colder and felt more empty? Who on the contrary was more relaxed and had a good hit of endorphins? Who will have enjoyed their day at the beach and their journey through life more? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another Chinese proverb: \u201cIf you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap; if you want to be happy for a day, go fishing; if you want to be happy for a year, inherit a fortune; if you want happiness and health for a lifetime, help someone.\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s return to Dr. Marian Rojas and her recipe for \u201cgood things to happen to you\u201d. She talks about the \u201cascending reticular activating system\u201d, that filter in the brain which, trained to see only the good, ends up seeing only what brings it the most happiness... And can that really be encouraged or exercised? If you are a judge and your \u201cnormality\u201d in life is to see criminals, murderers, rapists... how will that affect your life? You can train your brain, but if you don't, you\u2019ll probably see the person who stole from, murdered, or raped someone else in the faces of the citizens you meet on the street... But if your \u201cnormality\u201d is doing good, won't it be easier for you to interpret the good and happiness around you when you go out on the street?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am immensely fortunate to be in daily contact with other volunteers from The NGO \u201cAfrica Directo\u201d<\/a>, whether in Spain or Africa, all of them enormously satisfied with what they do with their lives, fulfilling their yearning for transcendence\u2026 And with many donors who are happy because within they receive a shot of happiness at the moment of sharing\u2026 And above all with a multitude of missionaries who not only give their time or their money, but give their lives! All of this is a banquet of energy that comes from the \u201cgiver and receiver\u201d collections department. And what happens to someone who leaves a meeting with these volunteers, with these donors, with these missionaries, out on the street? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If, for example, you're cycling and suddenly hear from your side: \u201cLook at the cyclist\u201d. How do you react? Do you put yourself in the hands of the god Mars or the goddess Venus? If you're full of cortisol, you immediately think of the enemy, interpreting that someone doesn't like you cycling down that street, and you prepare for a \u201cfight\u201d... On the other hand, with a good hit of oxytocin, your interpretation is positive; someone is feeling healthy envy towards the cyclist, for how well they ride, because they look happy, because they're beaming... You don't feel attacked but flattered, and you don't become rigid and tense but relax and enjoy the good that might come from that encounter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's twist it another way... When I started my volunteering, first in Calcutta and later in Malawi and Sudan, I always kept a phrase very much in mind: \u201cI complained that I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.\u201d The experiences of misery and illness, even suffering caused by war, never sank me; on the contrary, it led me to a greater closeness, a greater empathy with those who have not had as much luck as us, and learning from this wise African neighbour, I began to understand his process of acceptance. I came from a world where we pretend to supplant God (and of course, we get frustrated because we will never achieve it), and I was approaching another world where its inhabitants accept that they depend on Providence, much wiser than us in its decisions. It was there, in Africa, that I finally understood that Gospel which says: \u201cI praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned, you have revealed them to little children.\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There can never be happiness in the \u201cI want and I can't,\u201d and sooner or later, even Cristiano Ronaldo will find that \u201cI want and I can\u201d isn't always possible. The problem, therefore, isn't in the sphere of power or lack of it, but in \u201cwanting.\u201d But if you are capable of living in the third person, if you leave it to \u201cwhatever He wills,\u201d if we stop looking at our own navels and believing we are God, if we are finally capable of \u201cloving God\u201d and \u201cyour neighbour as yourself\u201d... That is the way! Cortisol makes us hoard, confront, be alert to \u201cother tribes\u201d... All of this was necessary during Lucy's era, but nowadays it's not necessary to hoard until we become so greedy, nor to overprotect ourselves or fear others... We will only fill ourselves with oxytocin by sharing and detaching. Another very great truth that I fully understood in Calcutta and in Africa: \u201cHe is not happier who has more, but he who needs less!\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c- Okay, but I'm a bit stingy... I kind of get the cortisol thing, and the problem of hoarding and all that, but... Why is it that you have to give to be able to receive?\nTo draw in a breath of fresh air, you first have to breathe out thoroughly, and to find yourself, you need to get lost first... In the same way, you have to give, empty yourself, in order to Receive (with a capital R). And just as we pay to enter the cinema and enjoy the show, so too to enter \u201dthe great party of the Soul\u201c, it is essential to first give thanks, share your possessions and talents, \u201dgive\u201c... After all, we are all \u201ddonors\u201c! Sooner or later, we will give our bodies back to the earth as fertiliser (or to science, or to some patient who needs an organ...), and our possessions and legacies will pass into the hands of our heirs, of our loved ones in life and in death...<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One last tale, this time an Indian story: A foreigner went to the mountains of Northern India in search of a famous guru. He finally found him in a humble hut, meditating in the lotus position on an old mat. He looked around and, apart from that mat, he could only see a book, a water flask, a penknife on a grubby plate, and a blanket. The master saw the look of astonishment on his face and asked him what had surprised him so much. \u201cYour very few material possessions,\u201d replied the stranger. The guru pointed to his visitor's backpack and said, \u201cYou don\u2019t have many things either.\u201d To which the foreigner replied that he was just passing through, and the smiling guru said, \u201cSo am I, son, so am I\u2026\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We will share, give, and surrender ourselves until we are capable of giving our lives, the ultimate act of love and generosity. Only then will we understand the words of the Gospel when it explains the recipe for detachment, trust in Providence, and the attainment of Eternal Life, which, even at the risk of being repetitive, serve as a conclusion and summary of all that has been said: \u201cYou shall love God above all things, and your neighbour as yourself\u201d.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Siempre recordar\u00e9 la primera vez que pis\u00e9 la capilla de la Casa Madre en AJC Bose Rd en Calcuta. Tras la misa de las 6 am, nos reun\u00edamos todos los voluntarios en el patio central del Convento de las Misioneras de la Caridad para tomar una banana y chai (t\u00e9 indio), revisar el correo, conocernos\u2026 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-post"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9234"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9236,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9234\/revisions\/9236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/openvaluefoundation.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}